But today, I went alone. It rained a lot these few days in Seoul, I was glad that it cleared up in the evening, so I just can go out... I have been studying quite lot lately. Next week Thursday is my final exam. That's what I am here for in Korea : to learn a new language.
It is incredible, the feeling I had during the jogging. The first few times I went on my own, I could hardly make it to more than 40 minutes. Maybe because I was stressed out of people watching me. Or maybe I just had the wrong music - soundtracks of Korean dramas - on my I Shuffle. Yes I still have a very basic MP3 player, one without screen and where you can't choose the music and just have to push 'fwd' or 'rwd' to go to your favorite song... But I don't care.
Today, I uploaded my favorite music on my Shuffle. It is actually the music during the 'lounge' part of our engagement party a few years ago at the 'Blauwe Kater' in Leuven, Belgium. Yeaaah, those were really the times. Me, my husband - at that time fiance - our friends and family going all crazy at our party, having my favorite music, food, good drinks... I thought a lot about my life in Belgium, during my jog today, my sister, my brother, my mother. My friends. Friends that have been following me and my husband for about 10 years or more : Wing Yan, Willy, Alan, Wai Keung, Pang Lok, Sin Yee, Ann. It's incredible how we all have grown.
When I look back how my life has changed, while now being in Korea on my own, I feel amazed of being here. Although, some of you don't really hear from me as much as my time being in the States - because of being busy all the time, the classes, the appointments, the homework and yes - I do study tooo - I think about home a lot. Actually a lot about how things are changing, without me being around. I just realize, maybe even if you want to be together, it might be not bad idea to give each other some space, to become 'completely' your own. Like if feel with my mother, brother and sister. Always being used of 'watching' over as the 'big sister', I find that they are evolving too, having their 'space', like I am now doing, being away from my husband a while. I find myself being able to 'let go'.The same with my friends in Belgium. Being thrilled when I hear some good news from friends and family, I follow everything happily from a distance, but sometimes I just wish I could go back like in 'Star Trek' where a technique like 'beaming up' exists. Just to be a part of their lives again. Because, I once was. A part of their everyday life.
It is strange how my 'everyday' life has changed as well. Sometimes I feel 'homeless' meaning, that I don't really know where I belong. I just know, I am here, living, breathing and being thankful for being able to feel so much. For being able to live with passion.
I never thought that being in Seoul, would also be a period that I was going to conquer my fears and explore my physical limits. I never thought of hiking on my own, I never thought of jogging on my own, I never thought of eating silk worms. It's good, that I became less scared and more adventurous, although all these things are quite normal too.
So today, I set my own personal record : I jogged for 1 hour and 20 minutes, non stop. And I was not tired at all. Not having to think about anything than the music in your ears, the evening sky, the apartments surrounding you... I was not tired, because the music kind of regulated my breathing. All very easy and relaxing music. Music that I have been liking for years passed my ears during the jog : Moby, Lamb, Morcheeba, Hooverphonic, Air, Sioen, Shivaree, Kevin Shields, Death in Vegas, Norah Jones, Pizzicato Five, hell yeah I even have one song of a popular group All Saints (Pure Shores)... and of course Ozark Henry (Icon DJ)
Hmmm... today was a good day for me. Time to hit the shower and disappear under my blankets :)).
No comments:
Post a Comment